How do you know it's love?

Lovers!

Sometimes, we develop a particular fondness for the person we’re dating. We just can’t stop thinking about him/her, even after many, many hours savoring his/her company. We are left in a quandary about our feelings, and certain queasiness pervades our days. Then we ask ourselves the question: have we fallen in love with that person?


Love is indeed a wonderful thing. But it is something that we should be certain about, least we spend many sleepless nights in deep thoughts and confusion. Sadly, determining the veracity of love is not always easy. Sometimes, a deep infatuation is equated with the same.

So how do we know that it’s love… real love that is? What could we be sure that the other person is not only the object of our thoughts, but the object of our hearts as well? Here are some signs that would help us say that what we’re feeling is indeed love.
1. When, at the beginning of the day, you are already filled with thoughts of the other person: what he/she is doing, how he/she looks, what you could do to make him/her smile today… when something good or nice happens to you, you always think of how you must share this with him/her, be it a funny story or a moment of your triumph. You always wish that he/she would be right there with you, but even if he/she isn’t, it’s okay because you know that soon you will be together and you anticipate that. No moment, no matter how dull it seems like simply watching TV together, is ever a wasted moment. Every minute counts when you’re with that person.

2. You become selfless. And you start thinking more about what would be good for the other person, than what would be good for you. Your ultimate happiness is to be able to make that other person happy, whether it is with you or with another person. You take care of him/her and you keep looking out for him/her. Be reminded however that making the other person happy does not include inflicting or causing harm to yourself or being untrue to yourself. You don’t ask that person to do sacrifices for you either, such as doing stuff you asked them to do just to prove their love to you.

3. You start to think of how it would be to be with this person forever… and you relish that dream or feeling. The thought of spending the rest of your lives together is not seen as being stuck with another person, but is considered to be a very wonderful idea.

4. Even if there are other people who are more beautiful or attractive, you still choose to be with this person. This means your commitment to this person is absolute. You have fully and undeniably decided to be with only him/her no matter what. It is not only love, but also devotion.
5. There is passion and fireworks, even after the infatuation period of six months. If you have been together for such a long time now, but aren’t bored out of your minds yet and can still feel the fire burning – simply because you keep it burning (and this requires dedication and effort), is a clear indication that love is still shared between two people.

6. There is a desire to understand each other, even at the biggest of arguments. You continue to communicate openly and do not harshly judge each other. You accept each other’s faults and shortcomings. For example, no matter how fat she gets and no matter how much he drools when he sleeps, you still stay and love the person. Also, you stay true and honest to that person.

7. There is a great deal of respect, admiration and trust for this person. And she/he has earned it well.

Kisses
~Truly Love~

4 Different Types of Loves

Hi Lovers!

We often mistake love as generally just being romantic and never really appreciating the other kinds of love that do exist.


SECURITY LOVE:

This love is the love that everybody needs to survive. It is that feeling of being cared for and nurtured. Some people would describe this as the type of love parents have for their children. This is so important: high on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs; and studies have even proven that people have died of a "broken heart" (there have been no explanations for their deaths other than that).

FRIENDSHIP LOVE:

This is a love between yourself and someone that is totally honest, open and comfortable. You really only have this kind of bond with a few people. You might know a lot of people and be "friendly" with them in a group situation but they are not the best friends I am talking about here.

I have a theory that you can not truely be best friends with a member of the opposite sex. Down the line romance will always come up from either party and feelings will be misinterpreted and mistaken. When this happens, the friendship will change and possibly never be the same again.

ROMANTIC LOVE:

(The much anticipated love!) Most people experience this type of love many times in their life. It is when you see that person for the first time and he/she makes your knees go weak or gives you butterflies in your stomach.i.e. "Love at first sight”. Most people don’t even love the person they think they are in love with…they fall in love with the idea if being in love. This is more of a lustful kind of love, it wears off after a while and hopefully leads to...

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE:
This is the sincere love, the love that lasts forever. This kind of love comes when you have found the person you are destined to be with. Nothing can destroy unconditional love. It is like when you have an argument or disagree about something with that person and you realize that it doesn’t bother you because the love you have for him/her overcomes everything.

 
  Kisses!
~Truly Love~

Nurture Your Inner Child - You Deserve Your Love

Dear Lovers!

Nurture yourself. You are a valuable human being created by God and there is no other like you! You have to stand up for that child that never got the love it deserved. Visualize yourself at five years of age. Look how cute and innocent you were. How can you not love that child!

You are not alone. Millions of adults grew up in abandoned, abused, and neglected homes. Most of the time our parents did the best they could under the circumstances. Sometimes they were just too selfish or sick to care. We all have our gripes and wish things could have been different. I understand; I came from a very dysfunctional family. The good news is that there is hope!

One day I was going through some pictures of myself and found a cute picture. I looked so shy in my adorable cowgirl outfit. I know why I was so shy and I felt sorry for that little girl that was so cute. She was made to be too responsible at such an early age. So, I decided to adopt her and help her overcome her fears. I decided that it was possible to teach her that she could to do anything. It has been and is a long journey but a necessary one for her growth.

FROM FRIENDS TO LOVERS

 Lovers!

You've been friends all for a long time. You tell each other everything, even who you're dating and how it's going. Then suddenly it happnens. The change-over occurs...without your even realizing it.


Suddenly this comfortable, easy-going friendship takes on a new form and becomes a burgeoning romantic relationship. It's more cuddly, it's more endearing. Next thing you know, the two of you are a full-blown couple. Here are four signs that you and your guy friend, your bud, your bro, have transformed into a hot romantic duo.

1) Your friends start making very obvious comments. All of a sudden every time you go out with a group of friends (and you and your guy pal are there) comments slip out about how cute the two of you would look as a couple, how into each other you two are, and how compatible your personalities are. Often your friends may see the romance spark before you do!Answer: How do I turn my "friend-with-benefits" into something more?

2) You find yourself making or receiving a daily call, often right before bedtime. Out of nowhere, before you even noticed, the two of you started talking every day, at length, about nothing, and you're secretly loving it. What did you have for lunch...how was your day...what are you doing right now. You begin to look forward to these conversations with your guy "friend" and a day that goes by without a casual chat just doesn't seem right. Text Message Flirting For Beginners

3) Unplanned, you find you have developed pet names for each other. It used to be a "Hey, Bro" kind of thing. Now, it's "Sweetie this" and "hey Babe" that. His texts now include the added "Sweetheart" and "Doll." You don't point it out and make things awkward. You just let your heart melt and start answering to this new litany of adorable pet names. Read: What Your Pet Names Say About You

4) Pats on the back become arm and hand intertwinings. Whether it's watching the game on the big-screen TV or playing catch in the park what used to be high-fiving and patting on the back friend-style becomes a softer, gentler hand-holding, draping arms on shoulders, sitting on laps, and hugging kind-of thing which leads, inevitably, to that first little sweeter-than-Hershey's kiss on the forehead. When all these signs are there it's bound to happen.

Readers, has this happened to you? Did your friendship turned romance pan out?
 
  Kisses
~Truly Love~

WHAT IS LOVE ALL ABOUT?

Friends..

What is L.O.V.E all about?

Researchers (Hatfield & Rapson, 1995) have broken up love into two main types:


Passionate love which involves continuously thinking about the loved one and also involves warm sexual feelings and powerful emotional reactions.

Companionate love is having trusting and tender feelings for someone who is close to you.

Now one of the best known theories of love (which means an educated guess that isn't proven fact) is Robert Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love.

The three components of the Triangular Theory of Love are:

Passion, the feeling physically aroused and attracted to someone.

Passion is what makes you feel "in love" and is the feeling most associated with love. It also rises quickly and strongly influences and biases your judgment.

Intimacy, the feeling close and connected to someone (developed through sharing and very good communications over time).

Intimacy is what makes you want to share and offer emotional and material support to each other.

Commitment, pledging to your self and each other to strengthen the feelings of love and to actively maintain the relationship.

Commitment is what makes you want to be serious, have a serious relationship and promise to be there for the other person if things get tough.


Now Sternberg also uses his Triangular Theory of Love to answer some of the most commonly asked questions about love:

Is there love at first sight?


This is when we are overwhelmed by passion, without any intimacy or commitment (both of which take time). Sternberg calls this infatuated love, Because there is not intimacy or commitment, infatuated love is fated to fade away.
Why do some people get married after being in love for a very short time?

This is a combination of passion and commitment, but without any intimacy. Sternberg calls this Hollywood love. This is where two people make a commitment to each other based on their passion. Unless intimacy develops over time, this relationship most likely will end.

Can their be love without sex?

Ah yes, companionate love, where intimacy and commitment are present without any sexual passion.

Why doesn't romantic love last?

Passion and intimacy without commitment is Romantic love. When the passion fades, and the intimacy wanes, the relationship ends.

This a close friend sent me e-mail:

Infatuation vs. Love

Infatuation is instant desire - one set of glands calling to another.

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time.

Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream.

Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you - to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by their presence, even when they are away. Miles do not separate you. You have so many wonderful little films in your head that you keep replaying. But near or far, you know they are yours, and you can wait.

Infatuation says, "We must get married right away. I can't risk losing them."

Love says, "Be patient. Don't panic. Plan your future with confidence."

Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are together, you hope it will end in intimacy.

Love is not based on sex. It is the maturation of friendship, which makes sex so much sweeter. You must be friends before you can be lovers.

Infatuation lacks confidence. When they're away, you wonder if they're cheating. Sometimes, you check.

Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. They feel your trust, and it makes them even more trustworthy.

Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret, but love never steers you in the wrong direction.

Love is an upper. It makes you feel whole. It completes the circle. It fills the empty space in your heart. Love is elevating. It lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person than you were before. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you don't have. If there is no love in your life, whatever else there is has a lot less meaning.

The secret of our being is not only to live but to have something to live for.


Hug&Kisses
~TrulyLove~

SHOW HIM THAT YOU TRULY LOVE HIM!

Dear lovely girls..

Would you like to know how to show your man that you truly love him? Are you overflowing with emotions for a man but afraid that by revealing them that you'll turn him off? Are you ready to take your relationship to the next level but don't know how to discuss the subject with your man? Believe it or not, it doesn't take much to make a man understand and accept your feelings for him. The key, however, is one of subtlety. These tips will help you show your man that you truly love him in such a way that he'll have no option to fall in love with you.

Don't Be Overly Aggressive
All guys like to be shown affection, but too much affection can scare men away. When you spend every minute together with a man doting on him, clinging to his arm, or whispering in his ear, you essentially tell him that you never want to be apart from him. Instead of feeling appreciated, this threatens a man's need for the independence on top of sending signals of desperation. Men want relationships to be natural and easy, not difficult and all-consuming. The simple action of giving your man plenty of space is the best way to show him that you truly love him.

Take Things Slowly
Men take longer to fall in love than women do. Men cannot be rushed into love, and they can't be forced into taking a relationship to the next level. By letting your man set the pace of your relationship, you show him that you understand his needs, respect his feelings, and that you love him enough to wait as long as necessary for him to be ready for commitment. On top of being a virtue, patience is one of the best ways to show your man that you truly love him.

Do Something Special for Him
Nothing tells a man how you feel about him more than a simple gesture of love. Although men are expected to make the bigger gestures of love in a relationship, this doesn't mean they don't want to do all the work. By giving your man a random present, by doing something specifically for him, you let him know that you want him to be happy. There is simply no better way to show a man that you truly love him than by actually doing something to show him that you truly love him.


Hug&Kisses
~TrulyLove~

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